Quarter-life crisis - defined!

Its funny how i did a self-diagnosis a few hours back (see previous post) and then i come across this description on what the quarter-life crisis is. Take a look. If you are in your twenties, i can guarantee that u'll nod after every sentence:

"It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn’t know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.
You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren’t exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don’t recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren’t really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.
You look at your job and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.
Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn’t. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure.
You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.
You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can’t meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you’re doing this because you know that you aren’t a bad person. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself and while winning the race would be great, right now you’d just like to be a contender!
What you may not realize is that every one reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out. Share this with your twenty-something friends, maybe it will help someone feel like they aren’t alone in their state of confusion.
We call it the “Quarter-life Crisis.”

Symptoms: a head filled with questions about life. Diagnosis: Quarter-life crisis

did that oral exam. I hate public speaking. absolutely hate it. i despise it. can u tell im venting?

anyway, it went fine. but i still hate it. ok i'll stop and move on to things i dont hate as much.
dammit i cant remember the story i remembered about 18 hours back and decided it would go up on my blog. im feeling a little messed up. Acutally my mind's been wavering up and down over the past few months. Clinically, i'd say i'm presenting with signs and symptoms of quarter-life crisis...that struggle to reassure urself that nothing has changed and that u are the person u always were. subconciously though, im feeling a change. i find myself contantly thinking about the rough road ahead in my journey...whether id get a job, how i'd deal with crazy patients, how i'd talk to doctors about an error they made, how i'd end an argument with a potential partner, how i'd want my parents to have access to my bank account and be able to lead a worry free retired life, how i'd make sure my kids dont do drugs/wear tiny skirts, how i'd react to back answering from future generations (kids/grandkids), and the list goes on. those are genuine concerns i must say. i just cant get myself to be that young grad thats dreaming of love, wealth, power and just lots of happy moments. all of a sudden, do i come across as an overtly negative person? i havent really been termed by myself or anyone that knows me as being a pessimist. well, the fact that i have an extremely pessimistic friend that allows me to compare my negative attitude to hers and win all the time doesnt help now does it?

i need to fix myself a cuppa tea. oh ive cut down my coffee intake. i've gone from 4 cups/day to 0 or 1 at the most. cool or what?!

i'll prolly remember more interesting/inspiring/insightful stories at a later time. till then!

feels good to be back

Obviously, life got in the way of writing my blogs...hence the 4-month silence. Acutally, this blog would have been written about 3 weeks earlier but when i arrived at this site to log in, it said that my blog didnt exist! *wipes tears away*. so i figured that was the end of the whole blogging fad for me until i stumbled across a friend's blog. it felt just like mine. it was filled with meaningful nothings and that instantly inspired me to try logging in to my account one more time to see if it worked. lo and behold, im here! woo!

so the last couple of months have been very eventful. my brother's engagment, a trip to dubai and india, a weekend in kingston (Ontario) and a weekday in New York. I love travelling. i mean i hate the actual sitting in a plane bit but i love destinations! its the ideal way to take a break from one's monotonous routine.

classes have started, stress is creeping in. the only way i could tell was because i had like 15 different dreams last night and somehow, in each one of them, i was cramming (and i mean seriously cramming) for an exam. what a peaceful night eh.

got an insane oral exam coming up on monday. got to cram. tty tomorrow.