did that oral exam. I hate public speaking. absolutely hate it. i despise it. can u tell im venting?
anyway, it went fine. but i still hate it. ok i'll stop and move on to things i dont hate as much.
dammit i cant remember the story i remembered about 18 hours back and decided it would go up on my blog. im feeling a little messed up. Acutally my mind's been wavering up and down over the past few months. Clinically, i'd say i'm presenting with signs and symptoms of quarter-life crisis...that struggle to reassure urself that nothing has changed and that u are the person u always were. subconciously though, im feeling a change. i find myself contantly thinking about the rough road ahead in my journey...whether id get a job, how i'd deal with crazy patients, how i'd talk to doctors about an error they made, how i'd end an argument with a potential partner, how i'd want my parents to have access to my bank account and be able to lead a worry free retired life, how i'd make sure my kids dont do drugs/wear tiny skirts, how i'd react to back answering from future generations (kids/grandkids), and the list goes on. those are genuine concerns i must say. i just cant get myself to be that young grad thats dreaming of love, wealth, power and just lots of happy moments. all of a sudden, do i come across as an overtly negative person? i havent really been termed by myself or anyone that knows me as being a pessimist. well, the fact that i have an extremely pessimistic friend that allows me to compare my negative attitude to hers and win all the time doesnt help now does it?
i need to fix myself a cuppa tea. oh ive cut down my coffee intake. i've gone from 4 cups/day to 0 or 1 at the most. cool or what?!
i'll prolly remember more interesting/inspiring/insightful stories at a later time. till then!
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